Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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