I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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