The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
