how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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