Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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