im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
