We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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