i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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