Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
