im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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