I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
