Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
