I hate your face
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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