So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
