I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
