i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
