life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize