on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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