i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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