I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think i have two assholes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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