4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
two words...techno handjob
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
