the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
