i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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