I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
