I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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