What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
