have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
