What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
