Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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