some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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