It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
