Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
