Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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