I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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