I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
