You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
