I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
