Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
