you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Drake has all the answers
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
