dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
