he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
