I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize