I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So drunk its hurt
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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