I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
