I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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