He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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