i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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