I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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