i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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