so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
