he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
