Jerry, you need to find god
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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