Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
