You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
