Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize