she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
