whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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