summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
