So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
