i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize