just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize