You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
