I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
