Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
